Hello my Dearest Caramel Drizzled Pumpkin Feet!
May I take this opportunity to introduce myself to those who may not have ventured near, or heard of, the country of Randomland, and may not have come across the obscure goings-on we Randomites engage in every day.
My name is Reg (Random Excitement Generator) and I work for the Department of Randomly Distributed Unusual Gifts, where I and my colleagues co-ordinate various prize draws for human peoples.
We operate from a large cave in the foggy mountain area of the far western desert of Randomland, using our steam driven ‘super collaboration computer’ to generate random winners of the most amazing, and sometimes unusual (!) prize gifts for different people, such as the lovely staff at Orchard Manor School.
The prizes our team of negotiators secure are legendary, as they scour the long-distance sacred trade routes, first trodden by one of Randomland’s forefathers ‘Edmond Iron Jelly pencil nose’ for the gifts that humans crave.
Every week we receive a coded communication relaying the names of all the current staff working at Orchard Manor. This information is fed into our super computer, which randomly generates five lucky winners each week, who receive a most wonderful surprise item.
We are sometimes instructed to add select information pertaining events or occurrences within the Randomland population, or descriptions of the composition of our gifts, to further our unique standing within the nations of the world.
Our directive, from our President Cyrus Shoehorn III, is to attempt to provide joy and humour to human people and to bequest gifts for their enjoyment. Any sadness or "unjoy" is not intended and totally accidental and therefore we hope our communications are received in the manner they are intended.
Much fondness and snuggly cuddles
Reg x
