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Reg and the Random OMS Experience

Hello my Dearest Caramel Drizzled Pumpkin Feet!

May I take this opportunity to introduce myself to those who may not have ventured near, or heard of, the country of Randomland, and may not have come across the obscure goings-on we Randomites engage in every day.

My name is Reg (Random Excitement Generator) and I work for the Department of Randomly Distributed Unusual Gifts, where I and my colleagues co-ordinate various prize draws for human peoples.

We operate from a large cave in the foggy mountain area of the far western desert of Randomland, using our steam driven ‘super collaboration computer’ to generate random winners of the most amazing, and sometimes unusual (!) prize gifts for different people, such as the lovely staff at Orchard Manor School.

The prizes our team of negotiators secure are legendary, as they scour the long-distance sacred trade routes, first trodden by one of Randomland’s forefathers ‘Edmond Iron Jelly pencil nose’ for the gifts that humans crave.

Every week we receive a coded communication relaying the names of all the current staff working at Orchard Manor. This information is fed into our super computer, which randomly generates five lucky winners each week, who receive a most wonderful surprise item.

We are sometimes instructed to add select information pertaining events or occurrences within the Randomland population, or descriptions of the composition of our gifts, to further our unique standing within the nations of the world.

Our directive, from our President Cyrus Shoehorn III, is to attempt to provide joy and humour to human people and to bequest gifts for their enjoyment. Any sadness or "unjoy" is not intended and totally accidental and therefore we hope our communications are received in the manner they are intended.

 Much fondness and snuggly cuddles

Reg  x

  • 11/03/24

    Dearest Sweet Chilli Marinated Tea Caddy Lids

    We hope you have had an interesting week @ Orchard Lots going on in the energetic department we hear! Dancing, PE, walking and some costume wearing - apparently, many of you choose to dress up as a book?  Very odd things you do!
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  • 03/02/24

    My dearest Honeycombed Aardvark Antlers

    A most Splendid evening to you all.  We have certainly missed talking to you and cascading our myriad of 'slightly off-normal' gifts for your enjoyment, so we are back for the first draw of 2024.
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  • 21/11/23

    A very good evening to my favourite Sugar Dusted, Strawberry Infused Chair Legs

    The team at Randomland hope you are all well and have had an invigorating week at Orchard A busy week no doubt and probably on a par with the strange goings-on at this year's Randomland  'Nutty November Exposium',  which highlighted several new ideas for next year...
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  • 10/11/23

    Good Evening my Duck Billed Platypus-shaped, Noise-Enhancing Ear Defenders!

    We hope you have had a glorious week fermenting the learning of your young humans and we are pleased to hear that the end results of your hard work always result in a ‘blow your socks off’ spirit that fuels their onward life journey – splendid! Well! Not much to report from Rand...
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  • 03/11/23

    Dearest Syrup of Figs Flavoured Monster Munchers

    We hope you have had a delightful week at the storm-resistant premises of Orchard Manor. Quite windy and wet by all accounts, much like our own 'Shamus McBrasshandle's' impression of the Moldovian Blue tailed Pigeon's mating routine - quite illuminating in a biological sort of way...
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  • 20/10/23

    Dearest Sweet Loganberry and Sump-Oil Soaked Cotton Buds

    We hope you have had a splendid week in the learning drenched oasis of enormous wholesomeness. Apologies from the Randomland crew this week, for the delay in sending our carrier pigeon transported communications, but we have been on a jolly nice excursion to our capital city ‘Randon...
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  • 29/09/23

    Hello my Dearest Hard Boiled Custard Gravy Drinkers

    And a very splendid evening to one and all!  WELL!!! It is so nice to be back on the air-waves and chatting with all of you lovely Orchard Manor people.  It seems quite a while, with the distant memories of the summer holidays and a couple of computer-related inter-web issues with you...
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