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A very good evening to my favourite Sugar Dusted, Strawberry Infused Chair Legs

The team at Randomland hope you are all well and have had an invigorating week at Orchard

A busy week no doubt and probably on a par with the strange goings-on at this year's Randomland  'Nutty November Exposium',  which highlighted several new ideas for next year's Olympic Random Games such as Cross-Country Parrot Racing and Haddock Hurling,  (ohhh! That created quite a crisis in the adjacent swimming pool as some of the launched haddock landed near Caracticus the one eyed Scandinavian Bull Seal as he was being coached for the three-finned, blindfolded, 100m egg and shovel race ....  It was a furious fish feeding frenzy that cannot be described!!) something less frenetic, but as abstract....tonight's prize give away.

We launch (not Haddock) tonight with something DIY and creative that will have you 'bouncing' around with joy! This kit contains a range of substances, crystals, colourings and equipment (and a sheet of instructions in  clear scientific language) that will enable you to construct your very own, brilliantly coloured, super playful.....bouncy ball.

It will have you rolling around in mirth Mike!

We also have for your delectableness a very useful item, with a range of purposes. It is big  (120x180cm), flat and very 'stripely' coloured. You can use it as a blanket, as an odd flag, a very large tissue or as it's intended,  a beautiful 'cheer-me-up' tablecloth. Made from the best paper ever - recycled income tax bills!  This colourful table topper will brighten any mealtime and is to be cover-ted by James!

Tonight's gadget of the week....ironically possibly linked to the Haddock Hurling episode - is a beauty of a cooking implement that will be the 'new best friend' at your next BBQ.   Resembling a fish-shaped tennis racquet, with a clasp and a finely carved wooden handle, this portable fish-griller will do the job nicely. Just slap your haddock into it, secure the clasp and burn it on the BBQ for crispy, crunchy, fishy, delicious fish treat. This has been swum away by Maranda!

Number four - something useful on those nights out... You humans love your classic 'chat up lines', but sometimes cannot recall an appropriate one? Never fear, you can now just open a packet of these...choose the top the words, digest the evidence, and hey presto!  -Instant love and marriage.   Yes this roll of THE classic 'Lovells Love Hearts' will be all you need. Sweet eh Becky?

Tonight's edible feast is a huge box of festive Oreo's. Different flavoured biscuits (including Lettuce and coconut, chocolate and pepper, olive oil and maple syrup and, of course, tomato, honey and turnip flavours).  These will tantalise your taste buds (for weeks afterwards) and have been crunched up by Jessica!

Finally, tonight's superstar prize (as apparently, we were one short last week!!)  is something slightly different and possibly 'living'.   It could be the start of your own jungle, or an addition to your conservatory, somewhere to pour the dregs of your tea, something to converse with or just something that looks wonderfully natural on your table.   Grown carefully from seedlings by the secret bell-ringers of the Dong Clan of Northern Sheffield, tilled in soil hand-sifted from the volcanic island of Guernsey and watered only with the tears of the Nile crocodile, these houseplants are rare indeed. We have one for you, Sam!  You won't be able to leaf home without it!

So, the curtain comes down on another episode and, we wish you all the very best for the weekend.

Stay safe and have fun

Unbridled passionate-ability and respect